| Chapter 1: | A Meeting Observed |
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Instead, the chair asked her if she would like to share, implicitly indicating that this is not what she had been doing up to this point and inviting her to participate as a member.
This is where she entered her first episode of sustained talk, recounting how she had recently been told ‘bluntly’ by her doctor, upon her admission to a hospital, that she was an alcoholic and that her alcohol blood level was ‘ridiculously high’. She also explained that she had been to an AA meeting a few years previously but had not gone back, but that going to meetings in the last few days had helped her to cut back on her drinking. She went on to talk of how supportive her husband was, who was attending Al-Anon meetings, but she said that he could not understand why she drank so much. She made reference to the earlier reading by saying she felt she was incapable of self-love and also made explicit reference to the chair’s opening remarks by referring to her inability to stop drinking once she had had one drink.
Throughout this episode she cried quietly, frequently drying her eyes and nose with a tissue offered by Lynn, which she accepted without apology or thanks. The self-revelatory accounts of her personal experience and the focus on drinking indicated a clear shift toward AA talk. This was also indicated by her allusions to the earlier reading and other members’ sharing. She no longer invited others to take a turn either through pausing or eye contact. However, on at least two occasions she did say she had never talked like this before, her eyes moving upwards to make direct contact with a particular person as her audience.
During this sustained turn, by ceasing to invite others to respond, she allowed herself to sustain her talk for about 5 minutes and recount events and display emotions she normally would have avoided. However, when she said she did not want to admit she was an alcoholic and that the idea of never drinking again seemed impossible to her, her eyes sought particular partners with whom to interact, suggesting the need for reassurance, advice, or acknowledgment. However, as there was no direct response, a short awkward pause followed before the others spoke briefly in turn. Stan suggested she need not think of not drinking for the rest of her life but encouraged her to take it ‘a day at a time’. Ted recommended that she attend meetings regularly. Both used AA slogans to indicate they were simply purveying AA wisdom rather than giving advice.