| Chapter 1: | The Early Years |
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Maria recalls that during the first year of her stay in Edinburgh she was constantly invited to balls, but as she was not fond of dancing she ‘much preferred sitting by and talking with the professors who were obliging enough to put up with much ignorance in favour of a real desire to learn, and a true respect for philosophy’ (84). On one occasion she met Francis Jeffrey, who ‘very gallantly offered to get me some ice, or to go with me into the refreshment room. I preferred the latter, as I was not a very eager dancer, and we stood talking over our ice a considerable time’ (82). These were the moments that she enjoyed best, yet the freedom of spirit that came so naturally to Maria was not well received by society in general which demanded from women a more restrained behaviour than she was willing to display. Again, the same as in Richmond and earlier in the school of the Misses Bright, she felt ostracised and rejected through no fault of her own.
This forced restraint, suggests Maria, damaged her health and brought about a disease she does not mention by name, but was undoubtedly tuberculosis. She was seriously ill for a long time, yet she welcomed her condition for two reasons, she says. In the first place, because she became the focus of attention of friends and family, and she felt loved as she never had before: