Tolstoy’s Pacifism
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Tolstoy’s Pacifism By Colm McKeogh

Chapter 1:  Life
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…outside the rational knowledge…all humanity had a certain other irrational knowledge, faith, which made it possible to live…that faith was the knowledge of the meaning of human life, in consequence of which man did not destroy himself but lived. 42

Initially, Tolstoy's spiritual seeking in the 1870s had brought him back to Orthodox Church attendance. In July 1878, he made his first visit to Optina Pustyn, the monastery that was a great spiritual center of Russian Orthodoxy. Here were many religious solitaries living lives of piety, and long queues of visitors and pilgrims waiting to see them, touch them, or ask their advice. 43 Christianity among these solitaries was very different from that of the established Orthodox Church, demanding total self-sacrifice. Tolstoy's break from Church attendance came one morning in December 1879 as he was preparing to take communion. The priest asked him to affirm that the flesh and blood of Christ were present in the bread and wine. He had heard the ritual question hundreds of times before, but suddenly it was like a knife thrust at his heart. He left the little country church knowing that he would never take communion again. His mission from then on was to separate truth from falsity in the Christian religion, and to show how the Church had strayed from the Gospels. 44

The whole teaching of humility, the renunciation of wealth, the love of my neighbor, has only this meaning, that I can make this life infinite in itself. Every relation of mine to another life is only an exaltation of my own, a communion and oneness with it in peace and in God. Through myself only can I comprehend the truth, and my works are the consequences of the exaltation of my life.
I express this truth in myself. What question can there be for me, who understands life thus, as to what others think, how they live? As I love them, I cannot help but wish to communicate my happiness to them, but the one tool which is given me is the consciousness of my life and its works. I cannot wish, think, believe for another. I exalt my life, and this alone can exalt the life of another; and is not another myself? So, if I exalt myself, I exalt all.