| Chapter 1: | Operationalizing Fidelity |
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partner,” seems more accessible. The problem with Cherlin’s definition, however, lies in how to define partner and in what is considered sex.
Relying upon sexual fidelity in order to define monogamy is problematic because sex itself is difficult to define. Sanders and Reinisch (1999) surveyed 599 midwestern college students in order to explore sexual behaviors and attitudes. Their results indicate that the types of behavior that constitute sex are varied; 59% of respondents indicated that oral–genital contact did not constitute “having sex,” and 19% of respondents indicated that penile–anal intercourse did not constitute “having sex.” However, almost all respondents (81%) agreed that penile–vaginal intercourse was considered sex. Similarly, Risman and Schwartz (2002) found that many teens do not consider oral sex “real” sex, according to data from 1991 and 1997 Youth Risk Behavior Surveys. Further, of those teens who considered themselves virgins, over one-third had masturbated someone else to orgasm.
Many shift the definition of sex in order to engage in sexual behaviors while still retaining their “technical virginity” (Sanders and Reinisch 1999; Risman and Schwartz 2002). American culture clearly continues to emphasize abstinence and virginity among youth; results indicate that teens are responding by becoming sexually active without engaging in “real” sex (Blinn-Pike 1999; Risman and Schwartz 2002). The question, therefore, is whether the same pattern holds for monogamy. If oral sex, mutual masturbation, and anal sex are not considered “real” sex, then individuals can engage in such sexual behaviors while still considering themselves monogamous.
Given that most Americans continue to emphasize monogamy, attitudes toward nonmonogamous behavior are less than supportive. Empirical research on extramarital sex and sexual infidelity has followed the assumption that when such behavior occurs, it is without consent. According to Laumann et al. (1994), about 25% of men and about 10% of women have had extramarital sex, yet the researchers did not indicate