| Chapter 1: | Operationalizing Fidelity |
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Some publications do approach multiple partnerships more objectively. For example, Blumstein and Schwartz’s (1983) pioneering investigation of the ways American couples negotiate money, work, and sex looks at both monogamous and nonmonogamous relationships. Drawing on survey and interview data, the researchers found that sex outside a primary relationship occurs in a number of different ways, whether secretive, consensual, as a one-time occurrence, or as part of an ongoing open relationship. Smith and Smith’s (1974) Beyond Monogamy suggests that individuals have multiple partners for various reasons that include sexual pleasure, emotional intimacy, and love. Pawlicki and Larson (2011) investigated the ways in which gay men negotiate nonexclusive relationship arrangements, finding that some differentiate between recreational sex and intimate sex in order to engage with multiple partners. Barker and Langdridge’s (2009) anthology on nonmonogamy, Understanding Nonmonogamies, is one of the best texts examining multiple partnerships empirically and theoretically today.
Macklin (1980) identified swinging and open marriage as two main models of consensual nonmonogamy, although both emphasize sexual extradyadic relations. Swinging can be defined variously as married spouses’ engaging in recreational sexual behavior with other married couples (Gilmartin 1977), group sex between anonymous couples (Symonds 1970), partner swapping, or participation in group sex (O’Neill and O’Neill 1972). Varni (1972) found that swingers participate in sexual activities with varying degrees of emphasis on sexual pleasure and on love, or emotional involvement. Swingers often refrain from establishing love or emotional bonds with others in order to protect their primary bond; sex is the focus, rather than emotional intimacy. However, although many couples enjoy the sexual variety of swinging (Henshel 1973; Smith and Smith 1970), they also report problems with jealousy, guilt, and stigmatization by nonswingers (Paulson and Paulson 1970; Denfeld 1974). Swinging gained popularity in the 1970s, and many individuals today engage in partner swapping, swinging, or other group sex activities. In fact, Bergstrand and Sinski’s (2010) Swinging in America