| Chapter 1: | Operationalizing Fidelity |
suggests that swinging is more popular than ever and may even provide a more realistic blueprint for today’s relationships.
Open marriage is characterized by a couple’s mutual decision to allow one or both partners to have consensual, independent sexual relationships with outside individuals (Knapp 1976; Macklin 1980). Knapp and Whitehurst (1977) found that couples in open marriages enjoy freedom through such an arrangement, although many also reported problems with jealousy, possessiveness, loneliness, and the continued need to negotiate their relationship. Due to increases in cohabitation, committed nonmarital relationships, domestic partnerships, and same-sex civil unions, I refer to open marriage using the more inclusive phrase open relationship.
In both swinging and open relationships, primary partners are concerned with protecting love between them and are often resistant to establishing emotional intimacy with others. Love has been given enormous emphasis in American society, although romantic love is a relatively new concept (Cancian 1987; Fisher 1992; Evans 1993; Cherlin 1999; Wade et al. 2009). Marriage occurred for primarily economic or political reasons until the nineteenth century, when marriage for love became the dominant ideal. Coltrane and Collins (2001) referred to this shift as “the love revolution.” Cancian (1987) documented the historical and sociological implications of the industrial revolution and gender on love in America through qualitative research with 133 adults, finding that the definition of love is more multidimensional than merely “romance.” Cancian conceptualized love between individuals as expressing affection and positive feelings and providing care for each other. Love includes a commitment to provide care and express affection through difficult times and also to give the loved one priority over others.
Incidentally, Cancian’s working definition of love suggests that commitment and specialness are important aspects of a love relationship. Even in nonmonogamy, love signifies commitment and priority over others; swinging and open relationships are constructed to incorporate