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But careful listening to his patients led Freud to offer that the return to health had more to do with a sexual liaison while at the Spa rather than the many somatic treatments the facilities offered their patients. The “cure” was only temporary, as was the relationship and patients many times returned to their suffering. Something or someone sought after had been found, but the positive change in mental functioning did not last.
In this study, we see a realm of sexuality that Freud did not observe: sexuality on the Internet. We can observe over human history that sexuality regularly finds its way into evolving media—as is the case with the Internet. But we are also left to struggle with the fact that many people never turn to the Internet for sexual stimulations or intrigue. Weather sites, auction sites, sending out those annoying e-mail chain letters or pictures of children and grandchildren are but some of the possibilities that occupy the minds of Internet users.
Research can lead us to definitive answers and ideas for understanding and clinically approaching particular dimensions of the human experience. The research documented in this book offers to deepen and broaden our understanding of women who become embroiled in an ongoing, conflictual, disappointing but highly engaging battle with their husbands manifestly over their spouses’ preoccupation with internet pornography, sexually charged “chat rooms” and other meeting sites.
Dr. Cebulko does not claim that she documents the experience of all women whose husbands use Internet pornography; rather it is a study of women who cannot say “No” and mean it when they discover their spouses using the Internet for sexual gratification and intrigue. Evidence suggests there are women who say no and mean no and that is it; and there are women who do not care. Each of these groups of women is interesting in its own right. For the women in this study, their husband’s use of the Internet pulls them into something, and their accounts of their struggles pull us in as well. Dr. Cebulko has captured this pull, the ongoing struggle, the disappointment, the rage, the sadness, and despair. Most importantly, she details a cycle that keeps repeating; neither spouse knows how to end it, how to refocus their relationship on something more happy and productive.