| Chapter 1: | East Wind Blows |
position and held you in my arms. Your heart was beating strong and fast and I could hear your breath. Your eyes were closed and you wouldn't answer me. I held you close to me, felt my lips on your forehead, your breath on my heart and when I pulled away to look at you again, you were the same, still, but your eyes were smiling at me, the way you melt me. I think I looked at you for a long time and tried to remember you all and you kissed me. Not deep, but lightly and outside, but for a long time, until I felt the foreverness, and I closed my eyes and forgot about my body.
You feel responsibility for me because you are older. I feel responsibility for you because you're older. Is that love?
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June 18
UNSENT
I spray the white trail of mousse directly along the top of her hair. Using the orange fine-toothed comb, I work the mousse into each strand along the hairline as I gently rake through, over and over along the top, scalp visible in the lines of the teeth. I pull her long hair quickly and effortlessly into two ponytails secured with the red baubles she's chosen. A perfectly straight part down the middle separates each side. Jade is drawing in her Etch-a-Sketch as we stand in my bathroom. Doing hair is a comforting and loving ritual I cherish with the girls. I deftly braid both sides, secure the ends and say, “There!” She looks up and smiles at herself in the mirror, thanks me in a voice that makes the missing start and runs out to get her coat and shoes. I look at the Etch-a-Sketch on the counter. I am surprised. Two salacious snakes flank a lopsided heart in the center. Detailed patterns mirror each other like a mysterious Rorschach print. It's a complex piece for a six-year old. The image makes me proud—the sophistication and