| Chapter 2: | Aquamarine Spring |
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April 11
I got the perfect jobs for September! I'll have a part-time position in the elementary classroom and a part-time position in teacher education. All's meant to be, right?
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April 12
How should I conceive of love, if not belonging? Can I belong without subservience? There is also a sense of confinement even in marriage. I mean, every time we build community within, the walls become stronger to contain, thus excluding. Are you saying that all I do (education, dance, and art-making) bear witness to the inability of Luke to completely satisfy me? I take offence. Despite my actions with you, I am happily married. I suppose that sounds incongruent too.
I'll tell you what belonging without confinement is called: a two-week stand! Ha, ha! Maybe that's the freedom I have with you. I do have some sense of belonging in that I'm under your wing but I'm not expecting you to take care of me. At the conference, on the grass, I felt owned, loved—by earth and you. That day was a pivotal moment. There's something here about environment and place.
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April 13
UNSENT
hear a motorcycle accelerating a long way off
the fake watery sound of traffic somewhere
feel the late night air
wish you