Second Language Learning and Identity: Cracking Metaphors in Ideo ...

In Canada, however, I slowly found that there are many different ways of answering these questions. After handing in a literature assignment, for example, I would question my teacher as to the truth of my answer, and they would regularly say that there are many ways of looking at the text and interpreting it. In Japan, teachers would never allow themselves to appear to not know the answer, because it would cause them to lose face and experience shame in front of the students that they are supposed to be leading. Even during my PhD comprehensive examination, I was attempting to search for the correct answer to the questions, even though there were many ways to respond. While in school, there is only one correct answer; in daily life, the lines between answers are blurred, and among the blurs we find the ambiguity that maintains the politeness culture and empathy training that are a part of Japanese culture.

Gown of modesty

Reluctantly cast away

Unpleasantly cold

I encountered further difficulty when writing in English when I was expressing humility and modesty. When writing English compositions, I would often add at the end a note to the teacher that expressed my modesty saying, “I do not know this topic very well, I need to study more,” to which the teacher would reply, “Then you should study!” I quickly found that my modesty was not being understood, as it normally would be by everyone in Japan. Another incident occurred during my CTESL training, during which I had to write a critical review of a teacher who was teaching English that left me in an ideological dilemma. In Japan, criticizing professors is inappropriate, and so when I was asked to write critically about a professor’s teaching performance I found that I just could not go through with it. My mind was so stuck in my Japanese values that the deadline for the assignment passed. I had to talk to my professor about my problem. She mentioned that honesty was more important than politeness. Eventually, I was persuaded to write the assignment, but it still unnerved me.