| Chapter 1: | Autobiographical Self |
Suddenly spit blood,
Redness permeates the floors
Staining it for life
(Yoshimoto, 2005, p. 36)
In 1946 my father was diagnosed with tuberculosis and was quarantined in a sanatorium. My younger brother also contracted tuberculosis and died at the age of 2, shortly after my father was put in medical isolation.
Divided by glass
I return my father’s smile
Projecting my strength
My mother and I were used to visiting hospitals together at that point. Every month we’d go to the sanatorium in Hatano to see my father who was still in quarantine there. I’d bring him my diary to read, in which I wrote about how I was doing at school and my activities such as ballet and piano. I wrote most about ballet, I suppose. It was what I enjoyed doing at that time. During my visits, my father would ask to see me dance. While he watched me through the glass, I would oblige him, even though I wasn’t wearing ballet slippers.
My father was something of an amateur philatelist. He would order stamps, and every month he would give me a few to take home. I particularly liked the stamps that depicted wildlife, and so he would give me those. He also gave me a monthly allowance that I saved in my piggy bank. Despite the fact that we were separated by glass, for one day every month it seemed like we were still a regular family. Once we left the sanatorium, however, the reality would set back in and I would become drowned with sorrow for my father’s isolation from us. I received many letters that were filled with haiku written by him.