Second Language Learning and Identity: Cracking Metaphors in Ideo ...

In Canada, the ambiguous change of topic so close to the conclusion is not valued. My own personal experience is that my writing style has shifted from kishoutenketsu toward the Western style of writing ever since one ESL teacher wrote on an essay that I submitted, “Don’t surprise me at the end!” However, I am really inclined to see ten as the space to look at myself from another person’s perspective, distancing myself from myself, a space in which I have room to move around, not having to worry about deadlines. While my writing style has changed, I still feel a strong need to express myself in the kishoutenketsu style in this book, as I mentioned in the preface. One of the most important reasons for this is that I feel very personally invested in this research, and as it is very close to my heart and mind, I want the space from which I express myself to be the in-between place in which I feel best enables me to describe the transformation of being marginalized. However, while my book adopts a kishoutenketsu style, I cannot be detached from the effect that 14 years of participating in Canadian academic culture of university and living in this ever-new context has had on my identity, and this is reflected in the mélange of logical/illogical, the dropping of hints mixed with explicit argument.

Waiting politely

My turn to speak will soon come

Voiceless days persist.

Writing, facial expressions, taking turns in discussions, group work, and politeness were all difficult culturally rooted practices for me because of the values beneath the surface of Western culture. In particular, I find it difficult to interrupt people during conversations—even though it is a socially accepted practice. In Japanese, the metaphor , chinmoku wa kin (trans., silence is golden) is taken seriously, but in Canada my silence was defeated, and I felt like I was waving a white flag whenever I was in the presence of a conversation. Being polite is a deeply embedded value, and I still do not know where its boundary lies. Doing group work was a particularly difficult experience because cultural values are different in the heterogeneous ESL classroom.